YOU LEARNED TO BE NEEDED

BECAUSE IT FELT SAFER THAN BEING KNOWN.

Somatic coaching for the patterns complex trauma leaves in your body and your closest relationships.

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you know this one…

"i can’t remember the last moment I enjoyed without the looming THOUGHT of when it might end."

"i truly believe no one will ever be able to handle me."

"does knowing me more lead to loving me less?"

and this too…

of course i can do it alone, i always do.

i was the "we never had to worry about you kid."

i've felt like a bad person since I was 7 years old.

WHERE IT COMES FROM

Complex trauma comes from repeated experiences, usually early, where needing people wasn't safe. Sometimes something was done to you. Sometimes nobody was really there.

So you adapted. You got really good at handling things. You learned to read the room before anyone said a word. To take over. Pull away. Go quiet. Keep everyone happy. Whatever kept things feeling manageable when closeness didn’t feel safe.

Those patterns made sense then. They helped you cope. The thing is, they can still take over now. Sometimes your body reacts before you’ve even had a thought about what’s happening.

YOU PROBABLY ALREADY KNOW WHY YOU DO THIS.

I did too. I spent 540 hours in therapy. I could explain my patterns, where they came from, and why I reacted the way I did.

But understanding all of that didn’t mean I could stop doing it.

Someone could get close and I’d still pull away. I could know I was shutting down and still go quiet. Then someone asked me what I actually wanted, and I went completely blank.

Understanding yourself matters. But knowing why you do something doesn’t automatically mean you can do something different when you’re in it.

That’s a different skill. And you learn it by practicing it, over and over, with someone there to help you stay with what’s happening instead of falling back into the same old pattern.

How WE WORK WITH it

What happens in your body when you want something, need something, or start to pull away.
Then we work with those moments somatically as they’re happening, instead of only talking about them afterward.
And finally, we bring that into your real life. Because the goal isn’t to feel different for an hour. It’s to relate, communicate, receive, and make decisions differently when it matters.

WHAT BECOMES POSSIBLE

You ask for what you need and don't take it back.
Someone helps and you let them.
Conflict happens and you stay long enough to repair it.
You notice yourself pulling away, and you get to choose.
Someone sees you properly, and you don't have to leave.
You become less dependent on independence.

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GRAB the free guide

HOW TO INTERRUPT A SHAME SPIRAL

Five things that work when you're in it, and why thinking your way out doesn't.

PRIVATE PROGRAM

ONE-ON-ONE

3 months

For the woman whose life looks impressive from the outside and feels unreachable from the inside.

Here is what I want you to know about the work.

At some point, you will probably want to pull away. You might get busy, go quiet, question the work, or find a reason to create some distance.

I am not going to punish you for that or disappear when you do.

Because part of this work is experiencing what it is like to stay connected when things feel uncomfortable, instead of having to handle everything on your own.

That is something you cannot learn from a workshop. It happens through relationship, over time.

see the full program

I’m not pointing you toward a path I haven’t walked myself.

I made a million dollars in one year and expanded to a team of five.

Before that I opened a restaurant in Portugal without speaking Portuguese, worked in textiles, consulted for pharmaceutical cannabis, co-founded a healthcare startup, moved countries, learned a language, and raised two daughters.

I was very good at making things happen. I was also the most confident person in every room and empty inside it.

Then on a random Tuesday in December, someone asked me what I deeply yearned for. Without hesitation I said, a deep and loving relationship.

And that is when it hit me. I had been with a wonderful, kind man for twelve years and I had never once believed he would stay. I did not believe he actually loved me. I was convinced I was replaceable.

I had been trying to go home my whole life. I was seven when it happened. When I knew no one was coming to save me. When I built an armor of steel around my heart.

The memory was locked away for decades where I could not reach it, and my body always knew. It came out as perfectionism. As the drive to rescue everyone around me. As every way I left myself. The shame was pushed down so far that I never experienced it as shame. I experienced it as ambition, and I was rewarded for it for thirty years.

He was supposed to protect me.

What I decided at seven ran everything after it. Do it yourself. Never be that open again. It built my entire life.

My marriage ended while I was doing this work and I blamed myself for a long time. I could not explain why I did not feel like fighting for it in the ways he wanted me to. Underneath it was the flattest thought I have ever had. Of course this happened. I always knew it would.

Everything I ask of you, I’ve done myself first.

That is the part of my story I want to tell you about.

more about me

ASIS BOARD CERTIFIED SOMATIC INTIMACY COACH & SEXOLOGIST ACSB BOARD CERTIFIED Sexological Bodyworker
TRAUMA INFORMED
Scar Tissue Remediation Practitioner
Wheel of Consent INFORMED

50k+ readers & followers

client results

"FROM THE OUTSIDE, MY LIFE LOOKED EXACTLY HOW I WANTED IT TO LOOK...

What I couldn't admit was that I wasn't really inside of it. That has changed. I feel more present in my relationships, my body, my work, and my day-to-day life. That is worth more than I can easily put into words.”
"VERY FEW INVESTMENTS HAVE CREATED THE KIND OF RIPPLE EFFECT THIS WORK HAS...

and I invest easily in my business, my health and my growth. The improvements showed up in places I wasn't expecting: my relationship, my decision-making, my ability to rest, and my sense of connection to my own life.
"This coaching helped me with my addiction to work...

it had become automatic. What surprised me was discovering how often I reached for it when I felt stressed or vulnerable. It helped me build the capacity to stay present with myself instead of running away. The result has been a much stronger connection to the life I already had.”
"Amanda Helped save my marriage

I was at the brink of giving up. I thought I had tried literally everything. The WoC and Somatic Yes and No were game-changers for me. I wish I would have learned this decades ago.”

in-person

I also work in-person with my hands in Lisbon, offering somatic bodywork, pelvic care, and scar tissue remediation for pain, numbness, and recovery after birth or surgery.

in person, in lisbon